Monday, January 19, 2009

Damn you, Christian Bale.

Damn you.
Damn you for being the best actor to portray Batman ever.
Damn you for having such fantastic hair, which distracted me during Batman Begins.*
Damn you for making me relate to Bruce Wayne more than any other character ever.
Damn you for fitting the role better than anyone, including Clooney or Kilmer.
Damn you for reinventing Batman.
and Damn you for making me love you, you son-of-a-bitch.

I suppose that brings me to my actual post.
Over the past 2-3 days I've watched every Batman movie made in the past 20 years.
Well, every live-action one, which boils down to:
  • Batman
  • Batman Forever
  • Batman and Robin
  • Batman Begins
  • The Dark Knight (Well, not really, I watched it about a week back, so I think it counts.)
After a heated conversation with my Mother as to who played the better Joker *coughHeathLedgercough*, I realized that maybe both Nicholson's and Ledger's performances were equally good and that they were merely products of different generation's interpretations of the story.
Then I realized that The Dark Knight actually matches up with the storyline of the comic, and furthermore ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE.
The Joker isn't a product of an angry mob leader who falls into the bizarre and fantastical Chemical X. (I don't remember if they named the chemical in the movie, they may have, my head was in my hands as I muttered "This is terrible. This is terrible. This is terrible." until it was over, so I don't remember.) The Joker was just a guy. Who the hell was he? We don't know. There was no backstory. He was Batman's foil. The Joker had as much commonly-known backstory as Batman to the average Gotham citizen. Essentially, he WAS Batman, if Bruce Wayne had just lost his mind and killed the dude that murdered his parents, allowing himself to succumb to revenge, like he warned Robin of doing in Batman Forever.
So, quick recap:
  • Batman - Terrible
  • Batman Forever - Actually pretty good, but you have to rationalize all questions you have on the reasonability of the storyline with "Because he's Batman"
  • Batman and Robin - Not too bad, actually. The aesthetic was kinda cool and the story wasn't too far from the comic. Also, Uma Thurman. End of discussion.
  • Batman Begins - First time I've watched it, ironically. All I can say is this:
In fact, I liked Batman Begins better than The Dark Knight. Dunno why, that just seems to be how it goes.

Anyways, catch you later, boys and girls,

*Keaton had hair that distracted me, too. That's because he had a Jew-Fro...
Bruce Wayne DOES NOT have a Jew-Fro.

[Edit 1/25/09: Wait, wasn't there one with The Penguin and Catwoman? Crap, so NEARLY every Batman movie.]

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