Sunday, January 25, 2009

It isn't that I don't like Rick Springfield...

I mean it, Songbird, but it's not the only music I want to sync to my Ipod. There's a whole lot more music to listen to, and when it shows me that a song is there and skips past it because it's only a phantom-file or whatever, it makes me kinda angry. You're a great person, and I mean that, it's just that I think you need to work on some of your issues before we start a serious relationship. I just... I need more than this. ("This" being Rick Springfield's greatest hits.) I mean, it's not you, it's me, I guess I'm just not ready to leave Firefox. Firefox has been good to me, and maybe gtkpod isn't the most pretty application, but at least I get the support I need. Gtkpod's never dropped a song on me, and even though you can find me concerts, it's just nice to have the ability to accurately measure the amount of space left on my Ipod. I hope you can understand that, Songbird, I really do.

I'd like you to meet my good friend, Mr. Songbird

Have you ever sat up at night thinking "Hmm... I sure do wish there was an iTunes-like program available to Linux systems that didn't look retarded."?
Have you ever thought "I wish Firefox played music..."?
Well, it doesn't matter, you're a freak either way.

To those of you who didn't plague your lives with such things, may I introduce Songbird, it's what those nerds wanted, but don't get because they smell funny. It's essentially what happens when Firefox and iTunes have an adorable multi-use baby that has the potential to eventually put them both to shame. If Songbird just gets a plug-in to run MSN messenger, it will have effectively removed my need for 4 programs from my computer.
(The only 4 I use: pidgin, Firefox, rhythmbox, and gtkpod)
It's available for Windows, Linux, and Mac.
Oh, and did I mention it can find concerts in your area?
On a related note, who wants to go see Kutless, Disciple, and Stellar Kart next month?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Damn you, Christian Bale.

Damn you.
Damn you for being the best actor to portray Batman ever.
Damn you for having such fantastic hair, which distracted me during Batman Begins.*
Damn you for making me relate to Bruce Wayne more than any other character ever.
Damn you for fitting the role better than anyone, including Clooney or Kilmer.
Damn you for reinventing Batman.
and Damn you for making me love you, you son-of-a-bitch.

I suppose that brings me to my actual post.
Over the past 2-3 days I've watched every Batman movie made in the past 20 years.
Well, every live-action one, which boils down to:
  • Batman
  • Batman Forever
  • Batman and Robin
  • Batman Begins
  • The Dark Knight (Well, not really, I watched it about a week back, so I think it counts.)
After a heated conversation with my Mother as to who played the better Joker *coughHeathLedgercough*, I realized that maybe both Nicholson's and Ledger's performances were equally good and that they were merely products of different generation's interpretations of the story.
Then I realized that The Dark Knight actually matches up with the storyline of the comic, and furthermore ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE.
The Joker isn't a product of an angry mob leader who falls into the bizarre and fantastical Chemical X. (I don't remember if they named the chemical in the movie, they may have, my head was in my hands as I muttered "This is terrible. This is terrible. This is terrible." until it was over, so I don't remember.) The Joker was just a guy. Who the hell was he? We don't know. There was no backstory. He was Batman's foil. The Joker had as much commonly-known backstory as Batman to the average Gotham citizen. Essentially, he WAS Batman, if Bruce Wayne had just lost his mind and killed the dude that murdered his parents, allowing himself to succumb to revenge, like he warned Robin of doing in Batman Forever.
So, quick recap:
  • Batman - Terrible
  • Batman Forever - Actually pretty good, but you have to rationalize all questions you have on the reasonability of the storyline with "Because he's Batman"
  • Batman and Robin - Not too bad, actually. The aesthetic was kinda cool and the story wasn't too far from the comic. Also, Uma Thurman. End of discussion.
  • Batman Begins - First time I've watched it, ironically. All I can say is this:
In fact, I liked Batman Begins better than The Dark Knight. Dunno why, that just seems to be how it goes.

Anyways, catch you later, boys and girls,

*Keaton had hair that distracted me, too. That's because he had a Jew-Fro...
Bruce Wayne DOES NOT have a Jew-Fro.

[Edit 1/25/09: Wait, wasn't there one with The Penguin and Catwoman? Crap, so NEARLY every Batman movie.]

Wait... 2008 is over? Seriously?

Wow, it feels really weird having 2008 end.
I mean, we're a month into 2009 and I just now realized just how much happened in the last year.
Some major events include
  • Had my first girlfriend.
  • Started taking theatre seriously.
  • Decided writing wasn't just for chicks and/or queers.
  • Learned musical improv.
  • Found out a whole new meaning to the word "friendship". Also, it involves lightsabers.
  • Experienced heartbreak.
  • Had a job.
  • Had 2 jobs.
  • No, seriously, 2 effing jobs. Like, 75 hours a week. It was insane.
  • Wrote a song for a girl.
  • Wrote a song for a car.
  • Wrote a song for the guys that came to fix our electricity.
  • Discovered StumbleUpon.
  • Felt dissatisfaction with the life I lead.
  • Started reading comic books more seriously.
  • Actually read because I felt like it.
  • Discovered a new level of loneliness.
  • Blamed myself for things beyond my control.
  • Learned to use a longbow.
  • Played guitar seriously.
  • Lost some friends.
  • Rediscovered my talents and passions.
  • Decided on a career.
  • Yelled at someone because they were being douchey.
  • Watched movies and thought about them as art.
  • Experienced a range of emotions I hadn't known before.
  • Pooped a muffin.
And I'm sure there were a thousand other things that happened, but really, that's the point, isn't it? A new year is almost a sad thing, because with it comes a realization that all those good times are in the past. You can hope for new good times, but nonetheless, all those experiences are gone, and if they come back, they aren't fresh anymore.
I'm not trying to write a "Live for Today" sort of deal. I'm really just saying that 2008 was really good to me, and I'll miss it dearly. Let's hope 2009 is as good, but not better. Asking for better makes you greedy, and we all know what happens when you're greedy.

That's right, you're kicked out of the orphanage after the fat man goes "MOOOOOOOORE?"

Obama is Fallout 3

It's true.
Even though he's really not all that impressive, everyone's going nuts over him, and the few of us who think he's anything but amazing are afraid to say anything for fear of becoming social outcasts.
Maybe in an ironic turn of events, Obama will actually lead us into a nuclear holocaust. I'd much prefer taking raiders down with a hunting rifle than working in a cubicle.

Ok, nevermind that, I actually enjoy Fallout 3 quite a bit.
It's not the best, but I had fun fighting giant lobsters with a sledgehammer.
I suppose if Obama invited me to go fight giant crustaceans, I'd enjoy it just as much, though.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Why do I eat microwave burritos?
There's no logical reason except for my previous knowledge that burritos rock.
Turns out that unless burritos are prepared by me, some other minimum-wage earner*, or an actual Mexican, burritos suck.
I only eat the microwaved ones because I enjoy hot sauce and cheese.
Why can't I just eat hot sauce and cheese?

*"minimum-wage earner" doesn't apply to factory workers. If you work in a factory, you're a glorified child-servant.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Escape from Australia could be a great movie.

So, I've been working on Musical Improv for a while now, and I'm starting to get better.
Anyways, I Googled "A strange place to go on vacation".
Yes, I asked Google for an improv suggestion.
Anyways, I decided on Australia, and well...

Got on a plane to Australia
and this dangerous tale I'm gonna tell-ya
My buddy got killed by them koala bears
I witnessed it all and could only stare
Ya gotta watch out for the deadly snakes
for they only see you on a dinner plate.
And if you find yourself a grizzly bear,
don't worry, it's all prob'ly a nightmare.

Ya gotta get. out. of.
For the Kangaroos are gonna kill-ya.

Gotta get. out. of. Australia.

Before them Kangaroooos...

Ya gotta get. out. of.
For the Kangaroos are gonna kill-ya.

Gotta get. out. of. Australia.

Because them Kangaroooos.

Then there was a bridge and some more, but I can't really remember it...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Power of Inflection

Inflection is a very important thing in speech.
To prove this point, read this sentence aloud:
"Have you pooped a muffin today?"

Now, there are about 15 different ways to read this, but let's just
take a look at the difference in a couple.

If you read it like "Have you pooped a muffin today?",
essentially you're inquiring as to if someone has, in fact,
excreted a delicious baked good from their posterior.
This is the default form of the sentence.

Another is, "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
This is a bit different, rather than asking if someone else
has dropped a healthy load of banana-nut muffin,
you're bragging about your own.
You might as well tag, "...because I sure have" on the end.

A third is "Have you pooped a muffin today?",
where you're basically just asking
"I know you've encountered muffins today, but, perchance, did that happen to involve the exiting of your rectum from said muffin?"

An equally disturbing version is "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
Which equates to "Look, I know you've pooped a muffin, that's no big news, but I'm just wondering, was the number of muffins you pooped greater than or equal to 1?"

Moving right along, "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
is kind of like "Hey there, I know your day was good, but just how good was it?"

Our final example is "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
Which sounds like something either a doctor or psychotherapist would be asking.