Wait... 2008 is over? Seriously?

Wow, it feels really weird having 2008 end.
I mean, we're a month into 2009 and I just now realized just how much happened in the last year.
Some major events include

• Had my first girlfriend.
• Started taking theatre seriously.
• Decided writing wasn't just for chicks and/or queers.
• Learned musical improv.
• Found out a whole new meaning to the word "friendship". Also, it involves lightsabers.
  
• Experienced heartbreak.
• Had a job.
• Had 2 jobs.
• No, seriously, 2 effing jobs. Like, 75 hours a week. It was insane.
• Wrote a song for a girl.
• Wrote a song for a car.
  
• Wrote a song for the guys that came to fix our electricity.
• Discovered StumbleUpon.
• Felt dissatisfaction with the life I lead.
• Started reading comic books more seriously.
• Actually read because I felt like it.
• Discovered a new level of loneliness.
• Blamed myself for things beyond my control.
• Learned to use a longbow.
• Played guitar seriously.
• Lost some friends.
• Rediscovered my talents and passions.
• Decided on a career.
• Yelled at someone because they were being douchey.
• Watched movies and thought about them as art.
• Experienced a range of emotions I hadn't known before.
• Pooped a muffin.

And I'm sure there were a thousand other things that happened, but really, that's the point, isn't it? A new year is almost a sad thing, because with it comes a realization that all those good times are in the past. You can hope for new good times, but nonetheless, all those experiences are gone, and if they come back, they aren't fresh anymore.
I'm not trying to write a "Live for Today" sort of deal. I'm really just saying that 2008 was really good to me, and I'll miss it dearly. Let's hope 2009 is as good, but not better. Asking for better makes you greedy, and we all know what happens when you're greedy.

That's right, you're kicked out of the orphanage after the fat man goes "MOOOOOOOORE?"

The Power of Inflection

Inflection is a very important thing in speech.
To prove this point, read this sentence aloud:
"Have you pooped a muffin today?"

Now, there are about 15 different ways to read this, but let's just
take a look at the difference in a couple.

If you read it like "Have you pooped a muffin today?",
essentially you're inquiring as to if someone has, in fact,
excreted a delicious baked good from their posterior.
This is the default form of the sentence.

Another is, "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
This is a bit different, rather than asking if someone else
has dropped a healthy load of banana-nut muffin,
you're bragging about your own.
You might as well tag, "...because I sure have" on the end.

A third is "Have you pooped a muffin today?",
where you're basically just asking
"I know you've encountered muffins today, but, perchance, did that happen to involve the exiting of your rectum from said muffin?"

An equally disturbing version is "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
Which equates to "Look, I know you've pooped a muffin, that's no big news, but I'm just wondering, was the number of muffins you pooped greater than or equal to 1?"

Moving right along, "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
is kind of like "Hey there, I know your day was good, but just how good was it?"

Our final example is "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
Which sounds like something either a doctor or psychotherapist would be asking.