Obama is Fallout 3

It's true.
Even though he's really not all that impressive, everyone's going nuts over him, and the few of us who think he's anything but amazing are afraid to say anything for fear of becoming social outcasts.
Maybe in an ironic turn of events, Obama will actually lead us into a nuclear holocaust. I'd much prefer taking raiders down with a hunting rifle than working in a cubicle.

Ok, nevermind that, I actually enjoy Fallout 3 quite a bit.
It's not the best, but I had fun fighting giant lobsters with a sledgehammer.
I suppose if Obama invited me to go fight giant crustaceans, I'd enjoy it just as much, though.

Burrit-ughs

Why do I eat microwave burritos?
There's no logical reason except for my previous knowledge that burritos rock.
Turns out that unless burritos are prepared by me, some other minimum-wage earner*, or an actual Mexican, burritos suck.
I only eat the microwaved ones because I enjoy hot sauce and cheese.
Why can't I just eat hot sauce and cheese?


*"minimum-wage earner" doesn't apply to factory workers. If you work in a factory, you're a glorified child-servant.

Escape from Australia could be a great movie.

So, I've been working on Musical Improv for a while now, and I'm starting to get better.
Anyways, I Googled "A strange place to go on vacation".
Yes, I asked Google for an improv suggestion.
Anyways, I decided on Australia, and well...

Got on a plane to Australia
and this dangerous tale I'm gonna tell-ya
My buddy got killed by them koala bears
I witnessed it all and could only stare
Ya gotta watch out for the deadly snakes
for they only see you on a dinner plate.
And if you find yourself a grizzly bear,
don't worry, it's all prob'ly a nightmare.


Ya gotta get. out. of.
Australia
For the Kangaroos are gonna kill-ya.

Gotta get. out. of. Australia.

Before them Kangaroooos...

Ya gotta get. out. of.
Australia,
For the Kangaroos are gonna kill-ya.

Gotta get. out. of. Australia.

Because them Kangaroooos.


Then there was a bridge and some more, but I can't really remember it...

The Power of Inflection

Inflection is a very important thing in speech.
To prove this point, read this sentence aloud:
"Have you pooped a muffin today?"

Now, there are about 15 different ways to read this, but let's just
take a look at the difference in a couple.

If you read it like "Have you pooped a muffin today?",
essentially you're inquiring as to if someone has, in fact,
excreted a delicious baked good from their posterior.
This is the default form of the sentence.

Another is, "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
This is a bit different, rather than asking if someone else
has dropped a healthy load of banana-nut muffin,
you're bragging about your own.
You might as well tag, "...because I sure have" on the end.

A third is "Have you pooped a muffin today?",
where you're basically just asking
"I know you've encountered muffins today, but, perchance, did that happen to involve the exiting of your rectum from said muffin?"

An equally disturbing version is "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
Which equates to "Look, I know you've pooped a muffin, that's no big news, but I'm just wondering, was the number of muffins you pooped greater than or equal to 1?"

Moving right along, "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
is kind of like "Hey there, I know your day was good, but just how good was it?"

Our final example is "Have you pooped a muffin today?"
Which sounds like something either a doctor or psychotherapist would be asking.