I, Robot (am a douchebag)

I want computers to be sentient.
I really do.

Not for the convenience. Not because I want the scifi future we've been raised with to become a reality. No. I want it so that when I scream obscenities at my computer, it will take it personally. When I scream "LOAD! LOAD, YOU SON OF A BITCH!", I want my computer to respond with "Sorry, please don't bring the hose out again."

I want my computer to fear me.
Also, proprietary software is bad. That is all.